Horns (2013): At Least It Started Out Promising

I was looking forward to watching this movie (directed by Alexandre Aja). I mean, it had an intriguing trailer and Daniel Radcliffe. Of course I wanted to watch it.

I know this isn’t the most popular poster, but I don’t like snakes and the popular poster has a snake around his neck.

Ig Perish has been accused of murdering his beloved girlfriend and one morning, he grows horns. After that, people begin to confess their deepest thoughts to him, which are usually a little disturbing. Although at first highly disturbed by this new ability, he soon begins to take advantage of this power to find out who really killed his girlfriend.

Promising, right?

The first two-thirds still seemed promising. Although Daniel Radcliffe’s American accent took me a couple of minutes to get over, Horns was showing potential. The voiceover narration was a bit corny and slightly over-the-top, but it was bearable and it was only a couple of lines.

Don’t get me wrong. Other than the corny voiceover narration, Daniel Radcliffe really impressed me. Having watched the Harry Potter movies growing up, I fully expected to only be able to see him as Harry Potter, because that’s what happened with The Woman in Black (directed by James Watkins).

I really felt like I was just watching Harry Potter being scared by flimsy jump scares.

And everyone else was good too, like Juno Temple as the girlfriend, even if she did seem a little too angelic and fictional to be real. Maybe that was just the filtered lens they used for filming with that pretty halo-ish hue around her all the time.

But towards the end of the movie, everything just kind of went downhill, plot-wise at least.

Because it’s the end and this is a spoiler-free review, I’ll have to be somewhat vague about all of this, but I’m sure you’ll get the gist of it anyways.

The thing was, the ending just wasn’t very good.

Actually, the kind-of ending was okay–not phenomenal, not even good, but bearable. It was really okay.

Then they got to the more “fantasy” part. (This is where I have to be vague because despite this slightly negative review, maybe some of you will still want to watch it).

It just didn’t resonate with me. There was this whole Lucifer-and-Hell business that I didn’t really see the point of, and I also hold Iggy’s relationship with some contempt, because I don’t really find this super-happy-and-in-love-since-childhood relationship that realistic and also I’m a little contemptuous of love anyways (being an adolescent who reads lots of books and watches a lot of movies and has never been on a date, I feel like a slightly cynical attitude towards love isn’t that weird).

Point was, I wasn’t impressed.

And they brought back even more of the corny voiceover narration thing that just really didn’t sit well with me. Especially since that voiceover narration tried to be really philosophical and all talking about heaven without actually saying it out loud.

Come on. Who really lies down like this? It just looks like it’s a pain in the neck. Literally.

Also, this movie is really long. I don’t remember how long it is, but I remember the feeling of wanting it to end already because I was tired. And also because the plot was really just kind of slow.

At least the very end gave me some closure. It was definitely a resolved ending, but the resolution just wasn’t…impressive.

Conclusion; Horns began with a promising cast and plot, and although the cast did not disappoint, the plot definitely did as it relied on too much corny voiceover narration (not that much, but it bothered me anyways) and an ending that failed to impress the audience as it began to drag on towards the end of the movie. 3.5/10.

Note to anyone who might want to watch it: I don’t know if you’re aware, but towards the end (I’m not sure exactly about the time), there is a pretty graphic rape scene, so if you’re sensitive to that kind of content, I would steer clear.

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