The Hobbit, The Battle of the Five Armies (2014): The Amount of Dragon Action Was Disappointing But You Know

I’ve watched the other two Hobbit movies. I just don’t remember them at all.

So when I started watching this one, I was just slightly confused as to the context. Meaning I had no clue what was going on.

See? The poster tricks you into thinking there’s intense dragon action when THERE’S NOT.

It starts out with this huge dragon attacking what looks like the MiddleEarth version of Venice and the Bard guy being all fatherly and trying to get his kids to safety, but of course, the oldest doesn’t listen and wants to help his dad, that whole trope business.

But I caught on pretty quick, so that wasn’t a big issue.

The issue was the lack of dragon action.

I haven’t read the book, so maybe I’ve just been overestimating the amount of dragon that was supposed to be in it, but it doesn’t change the fact that the dragon was killed off in the first fifteen minutes. It’s so early that I don’t even count it as a spoiler. (That being said, I’m sorry if I actually ruined anything for you if you were planning to watch this.)

I was expecting, like, a whole half of the movie to be like this and I was disappointed.

Now that I’m past the lack of dragon, I’ll get to the actual movie.

Thinking back, I’m not even entirely sure of the plot, just that Bilbo Baggins (Martin Freeman) and his dwarf friends and Gandalf (Ian McKellen) are still on this big adventure and these mean and arrogant elves come in at some point and Orlando Bloom shows up. And then they all get attacked by Orcs.

While this movie is not very strong plot-wise, it was still relatively enjoyable. What’s not enjoyable about pretty Middle Earth scenery and really intense fight scenes?

I have to admit though, the fights took so long. I appreciate the choreography, the stunts, the everything, but after an hour of it, I was starting to get a little bored.

Sure, Legolas did have his cool moments, but still.

What I’m trying to get at that I was unimpressed.

Appreciative, but unimpressed. Like Martin Freeman was fantastic as usual, as well as Ian McKellen and Lee Pace, but there really wasn’t much for them to express. Lee Pace is angry, but too cool to show it and Gandalf is just worried or defensive about Bilbo. Bilbo did have a great performance though, courtesy of the very talented Martin Freeman.

And the scenery was very pretty, the make-up, the computer animation, the everything was totally top-notch.

But it just didn’t ring with me. There was just nothing…particularly special about it. Obviously a lot of hard work and money was put into it, but it just wasn’t impressive on a personal level.

It was just a movie.

Enjoyable, but after two weeks, I will have forgotten most of it. Except for maybe the dragon–oh wait, IT WAS NEVER THERE.

Conclusion: Although a well-made and fun movie (lacking in plot somewhat and very lacking in dragon scenes), it failed to impress its audience members who are not Lord of the Rings buffs, and the pretty scenery and cinematography just wasn’t enough to make up for its too-lengthy fight scenes and very slow plot. 6/10.

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